Your children are often flooded with emotions and concerns they cannot articulate during and after a divorce.
Here are the 10 Requests that children of DIVORCE have for their parents
- Do not talk badly about my other parent—this makes me feel torn apart.
- Do not talk to me about child support—it makes me feel guilty and worried.
- Do not make me feel bad when I enjoy my time with the other parent– I want to be able to share things with you.
- Do not argue in front of me or on the phone when I can hear you! – This makes me feel trapped.
- Do not ask me to keep secrets from the other parent—secrets make me feel anxious and bad.
- Do not send messages with me to my other parent—it makes me afraid of their reaction.
- Do not blame my other parent for the divorce—it makes me feel in the middle, wanting to protect you and defend them. I just want to be a kid.
- Do not ignore my other parent during my school or sports activities. –This makes me feel sad and embarrassed.
- Do not use guilt to pressure me to love you more –let me love both of you.
- DO not ask me where I want to live—I have two homes and would like to see both of you as much as possible. I feel calmer when you are flexible and friendly with each other.
Adapted from Boyan & Termini, Cooperative Parenting institute, 2009